Sexual worries are common, and they are hard to talk about, especially in families and communities where sex is rarely discussed. A sex therapist is a trained professional you can talk to in plain, clinical language, without judgement. On Mindara you can see a therapist for talking therapy and, where a physical check or medical treatment is needed, a registered doctor. These services are for adults (18 and over) only.
What a sex therapist can help with
- erection worries and performance anxiety;
- ejaculating sooner than you would like, or difficulty reaching orgasm;
- pain or fear around penetration, including vaginismus;
- low or mismatched desire between partners;
- guilt, shame or anxiety about sex, often learned while growing up;
- sex after childbirth, illness, surgery or menopause;
- the effect of past sexual trauma on intimacy;
- different expectations about sex in a new marriage;
- questions about sexuality or sexual orientation.
You don’t need a label or a diagnosis to book. “Something about sex is worrying me” is enough to start.
Who to see: sex therapist, psychiatrist or sexual health doctor
Sexual problems often have physical and emotional sides, so the right person depends on what is going on. Many people benefit from more than one.
| Who | Training | How they help | Can prescribe? |
|---|---|---|---|
| Sex therapist (psychologist, counsellor or psychotherapist) | A degree in psychology or counselling, plus training in sexual health | Talking therapy for anxiety, shame, relationship patterns and trauma, and practical exercises done privately at home | No |
| Psychiatrist | A medical doctor (MBBS) with specialist training in psychiatry | Helps when sexual problems are linked to depression or anxiety, or to the side effects of mental health medicines | Yes |
| Sexual health doctor | A medical doctor (MBBS, often with an MD or other specialist training), registered with the National Medical Commission or a State Medical Council | Medical assessment, tests and treatment of physical causes | Yes |
| Gynaecologist or urologist | Medical specialists | Physical examination and treatment in a clinic | Yes |
And a “sexologist”? In India the word is used by people with very different training: some are medical doctors, some are psychologists or counsellors, and some have no recognised qualification. Always ask what someone’s qualification is and where they are registered. Our guide to sexologist vs sex therapist explains how to check.
See a doctor for a physical check where relevant
Talking therapy works best once physical causes have been looked at. See a doctor, in person if needed, when:
- you have pain, bleeding, unusual discharge, sores or lumps;
- erection problems keep happening, because they can be linked to conditions such as diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol or hormone problems (NHS);
- a problem started suddenly, or after a new medicine, surgery, childbirth or menopause;
- you think a medicine is affecting your sex life. Never stop or change a medicine without talking to your doctor.
Be wary of advertisements that promise a “permanent cure”, “guaranteed results” or instant improvement. In India, the Drugs and Magic Remedies (Objectionable Advertisements) Act, 1954 bans advertising medicines for improving sexual capacity or as remedies for conditions such as sexual impotence. A safe plan starts with a proper assessment.
How sex therapy works
Sex therapy is a talking therapy. Sessions are conversations, in clinical, non-explicit language. Your therapist will usually:
- Understand the problem. When it started, when it happens and when it doesn’t, your health, your relationship, and what you have already tried.
- Explain how bodies and desire work. Accurate information often eases a lot of worry, especially for people who never had sex education.
- Work on the anxiety. Worry about “performing” can itself cause problems. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) helps you notice and change the thoughts that keep the worry going.
- Suggest exercises for home. One example is sensate focus: a step-by-step set of touch exercises for couples that takes the pressure off sex and builds comfort gradually. Exercises are always done privately, never in a session.
- Involve your partner, if you want. Many concerns affect both people, and a couple session can help.
A therapist will never ask you to undress, show your body on camera or share explicit images. If anyone does, end the session and report it to Mindara.
Your first session
On Mindara, sexual health counselling sessions last 45, 60 or 90 minutes, depending on the provider. In the first one, the therapist will ask what is worrying you, how long it has been going on, your general health and any medicines, and how things are in your relationship, if you have one. You can go at your own pace and say “I’d rather not answer that yet”. Many people find the hardest part is the first few minutes; after that, it is a practical conversation. By the end, you should have a rough plan, and a clear idea of whether a doctor’s check is needed first.
Myths that stop people getting help
- “It’s all in my head, so nothing can be done.” Worry and stress do affect sex, and that is exactly what talking therapy works on.
- “Only older people have sexual problems.” Sexual worries can happen at any adult age, including in the first months of a new relationship or marriage.
- “A pill or oil will fix everything.” Some problems do need medical treatment, but that should come from a doctor after a proper check, not from an advertisement.
- “Talking about sex with a professional is shameful.” Sex therapists talk about these topics every day, calmly and in clinical language. Nothing you say will shock them.
LGBTQ+ people
Sex therapy is for everyone, whatever your sexual orientation or gender identity. You can look for a provider who mentions LGBTQ+ experience on their profile. A good therapist will never try to change who you are. In 2022, the National Medical Commission said that so-called “conversion therapy” by doctors counts as professional misconduct.
Sex after childbirth, illness or surgery
Big life events often change sex for a while. After childbirth, tiredness, healing and a new routine can leave little room for desire. Illnesses such as diabetes, heart disease or cancer, and treatments such as surgery or some medicines, can affect the body and how you feel about it. Talking with a therapist can help you and your partner adjust, while your doctor looks after the physical side. If low mood follows the birth of a baby, ask about postpartum depression too.
How many sessions?
It depends on the concern. Some people feel much better after a few sessions of information and reassurance. Others, especially with pain, long-standing anxiety or trauma, need regular sessions over a few months, alongside practice at home and sometimes medical care. Your therapist will review progress with you.
Online or in person?
Talking therapy for sexual concerns works well online, and many people find it easier to open up from their own room. You can choose an audio session instead of video if the provider offers one. Physical examinations, blood tests and tests for infections need a clinic or lab.
Privacy: what others can see
- Receipts: sexual health counselling is shown as “Counselling session”, and an appointment with a sexual health doctor as “Doctor consultation”.
- Payments and emails: payment descriptions and booking emails refer to a Mindara session and don’t name your concern.
- Adults only: these services can’t be booked for anyone under 18.
- Where you join: pick a private place and use headphones. An audio session has no video at all.
Choosing a provider on Mindara
- Checked training: therapists must send proof of sexual health training before this topic is added to their profile, and our team checks it.
- Gender and language: many people feel easier talking to a woman or to a man, or in their own language. Profiles show both.
- Doctors: psychiatrists are listed here, and registered sexual health doctors are being added. Doctors on Mindara must hold a valid Medical Council registration, which we check before they are listed.
- Fee: shown on every provider card before you book.
Cost and free options
Each provider sets their own fee; the current range is shown near the top of this page and on every provider card. See what therapy costs in India for fees across Mindara. For free mental health support at any time, call Tele-MANAS on 14416. Outpatient departments at government hospitals (gynaecology, urology, skin and VD, and psychiatry) are a low-cost option for medical checks.
For couples
When a sexual problem is affecting the relationship, or your levels of desire don’t match, a couple session lets you both talk to the same therapist, each joining from your own device if you prefer. Hindi readers can also read सेक्स थेरेपिस्ट क्या होता है.
When to get urgent help
If you have been sexually assaulted, you deserve care and support. Go to the nearest hospital emergency department as soon as you can, even if some time has passed, or call 112. Women can call the free Women Helpline 181 at any time. If you feel unsafe or are thinking about harming yourself, call Tele-MANAS on 14416.
