Most couples argue, drift apart or get stuck at some point. Couple counselling gives you both a calm, structured place to talk with a trained counsellor who doesn’t take sides. On Mindara, one of you books a session and invites the other, and you both join the same video room, whether you are in the same home, two cities or two countries.
When couple counselling can help
You don’t need to be on the edge of separating. Couples come for help with:
- the same argument coming back again and again, or fights that turn hurtful;
- feeling like flatmates, with little time, touch or real conversation;
- broken trust, including an affair or secrets about money;
- pressure from parents or in-laws, or disagreements about living with family;
- money, work, chores and who carries the load at home;
- differences over children, or the strain of a new baby;
- sex and intimacy, including different levels of desire;
- long distance, a move abroad, or one partner working in another city;
- deciding whether to stay together, or how to separate with less damage.
If only one of you is ready to talk, that is a good start too. Help for one person with relationship worries is on our relationship counselling page.
How a couple session works on Mindara
Couple sessions are new on Mindara, so not every provider offers them yet. Look for “Couple session” among a provider’s session options.
- Book one session. Choose a counsellor and a time. Couple sessions last 60, 75 or 90 minutes, by video or audio, depending on what the provider offers.
- Pay once. The fee is per session, not per person. One of you books and pays.
- Invite your partner. Add your partner’s name and email while booking, or later from your booking page. They get an email invitation.
- Your partner joins in their own name. They create a free Mindara account or sign in, confirm they are 18 or older, and agree to join. They are also asked one private question: whether they feel safe talking openly with you present. Only the counsellor sees the answer.
- Join the same room. On the day, you each join the same video room from your own phone or laptop, or sit together in front of one screen. Both of you get the reminders and the joining link.
- After the session. Each of you can message the counsellor in your own private chat, and both of you can read the session summary. The person who booked handles any change of time or cancellation, and your partner is told.
The free first session, the student rate and session packs don’t apply to couple sessions. If one of you would like to check whether a counsellor feels right before booking together, that person can book a one-to-one session first.
What happens in the first few sessions
In the first session the counsellor asks what brings you both, how you met, what still works between you, and what each of you hopes will change. They explain the ground rules, including how they handle anything one of you tells them privately. Some counsellors also meet each partner once on their own early on. This is normal, and it is often where safety is checked.
After that, the work is practical. You learn to spot the pattern you get stuck in, slow arguments down, listen without preparing your defence, and repair after a fight. Counsellors use approaches such as emotionally focused therapy (EFT), which looks at the feelings and needs underneath arguments, and the Gottman method, which builds friendship and skills for handling conflict. You will often get small tasks to try between sessions. Read more in what happens in couples therapy.
How many sessions do couples need?
It varies with what you bring and how long it has been going on. A couple working on one clear problem, such as communication after a new baby, may find a handful of sessions enough. Rebuilding trust after an affair, or changing years of distance, usually takes longer, often several months. Many couples meet weekly or every two weeks at first, then space sessions out. A good counsellor reviews progress with you every few sessions, so you are never signing up for something open-ended.
Marriage, family and in-laws
In many Indian marriages, the relationship includes more than two people. Parents, in-laws and siblings may live with you, share money with you or have strong views about children, careers and festivals. A good counsellor won’t treat family involvement as a problem in itself. They will help you agree, as a couple, where your boundaries are, how to say no kindly, and how to stop arguments with relatives from turning into arguments with each other. This matters in arranged and love marriages alike, and in inter-faith or inter-caste marriages where families need time to adjust.
Getting the most from your sessions
- Agree beforehand on the one or two things you most want to change.
- Join from a private place where nobody can overhear, with your phone notifications off.
- Talk about your own feelings and needs rather than listing your partner’s faults.
- Try the tasks between sessions, and tell the counsellor honestly if they didn’t happen.
- If a session leaves you upset, say so at the next one rather than quietly stopping.
When couple sessions are not safe
Couple counselling works only when both partners can speak freely. If one partner is afraid of the other, joint sessions can make things more dangerous, because what is said in the session may be punished at home. Individual support should come first if your partner:
- hits, pushes, chokes or threatens you, or threatens to harm themselves, the children or pets to control you;
- forces or pressures you into sex;
- controls your money, phone, movements or who you see;
- makes you afraid of how they will react to what you say.
In these situations, book a one-to-one session for yourself instead and tell the counsellor what is happening. If you are in danger now, call 112. Women can call the Women Helpline 181, a free 24-hour government helpline that connects you to police, medical help, legal aid and counselling through One Stop Centres. If 181 doesn’t connect where you are, call 112. Men and LGBTQ+ people facing abuse can also get help through 112 and through one-to-one counselling. The private safety question your partner answers when accepting the invitation is there for the same reason.
Couple counselling in Hindi, Telugu and other languages
Hard conversations are easier in the language you argue in. Each provider’s card shows the languages they speak, so you can look for a counsellor in Hindi, Telugu, Punjabi, Tamil, Bengali or another language you both share. Start with our Hindi-speaking providers, or filter the directory by language. If you and your partner have different first languages, choose one you are both comfortable in, and tell the counsellor if one of you needs things said more slowly.
For NRI and long-distance couples
Because each partner joins from their own device, couple sessions work when you live in different cities or countries. Many couples living abroad also want a counsellor who understands Indian families, in-laws and expectations. Check the session time carefully in both time zones, and make sure each of you has a private room and headphones.
Online or in person?
Couple counselling is a talking therapy, so it usually works well online. It saves travel and makes it easier to find a counsellor who speaks your language. In-person sessions may suit you better if you can’t find a private space at home or if children or relatives may overhear. Where there are safety concerns, a one-to-one session is the better first step, online or in person.
How to choose a couple counsellor on Mindara
- Training: look on the profile for training in couple or family therapy, and ask how they work with couples.
- Language and background: choose someone you can both talk to comfortably.
- Fee: the couple-session price is on the provider’s profile before you book.
- Registration: clinical psychologists in India must be registered with the Rehabilitation Council of India (RCI). Counsellors list their degrees and training on their profiles.
- Fit: ask how they handle secrets, and what happens if one of you wants to stop.
Couple counselling price
Each counsellor sets their own fee. The live fee range for this topic is shown near the top of this page, and every provider card shows a fee. A couple session is usually longer than a one-to-one session, so its price may differ from the same provider’s individual fee. Because the fee is per session, you pay the same whether one or both of you join. Read what affects the cost of couple counselling, or see what therapy costs in India across all Mindara providers.
Related help
- Premarital counselling, for couples getting ready for marriage.
- Divorce counselling, if you are separating or helping children through it.
- Family counselling, when the strain involves parents, in-laws or children.
When to get urgent help
If an argument has turned violent, or anyone is at risk of being hurt, get to a safe place if you can and call 112. If you or your partner talk about suicide or self-harm, call Tele-MANAS on 14416 (free, at any time) or 112. Couple counselling is for when everyone is safe enough to talk.
